chillzo: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

pico : Nope, absolutely not.

nene: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

darnell: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

y/n : I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

otis: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

chillzo: Bye pico! Bye nene! Bye y/n ! Bye otis! Bye pico!

darnell: You said 'bye pico' twice.

chillzo: I like pico.

chillzo: pico is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

darnell: Punch them in the stomach.Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.

y/n : Tackle them!

nene: Dump them.

otis: Kick them in the shin!

pico: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

chillzo: Dumbest scar stories, go!

nene: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

y/n : I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

otis: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

darnell: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

pico: I have emotional scars.

chillzo: *dies*

y/n : Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months!

pico: Bullshit.One month.

darnell: Nah, half a month.

nene, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PERSON A JUST DIED!

otis, scratching chin in thought: One week.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

chillzo: So.Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

pico: ...I did.I broke it.

chillzo: No.No you didn't. nene?

nene: Don't look at me. Look at darnell.

darnell: What?!I didn't break it.

nene: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

darnell: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

nene: Suspicious.

darnell: No, it's not!

y/n : If it matters, probably not, but otis was the last one to use it.

otis: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

y/n : Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

otis: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles.Everyone knows that, y/n !

pico: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, chillzo.

chillzo: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

y/n : chillzo...nene's been awfully quiet.

nene: REALLY?!

* Everyone starts arguing*

chillzo, being interviewed: I broke it.I burned my hand so I punched it.

chillzo: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

chillzo:

chillzo: Good.It was getting a little chummy around here.

chillzo: I CAN'T DO IT!

pico, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

chillzo: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

nene: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

chillzo:

chillzo: I appreciate it,

chillzo: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

darnell: chillzo-

chillzo: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

y/n : chillzo we gotta-

chillzo: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND.YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

chillzo: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

chillzo, motioning to otis: NOT FUCKING THIS.

chillzo, rubbing their temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette.

y/n : But chillzo, we don't smoke.

chillzo: Cut the crap, y/n . I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

chillzo: *points at otis* One! *points at pico* Two! *points at nene* Three! *points at darnell* Four! *points at y/n * Five!

chillzo: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers!

darnell: *puts a cigarrette in chillzo's hand*

chillzo: Thank you. ...Light?

The Squad: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

(* FUN FACT: chillzo does smoke, and yes she does weed *)

chillzo: Croissants: dropped

pico: Road: works ahead

nene: BBQ sauce: on my titties

darnell: Shavacado: fre

y/n : Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

otis:

otis, grumpy: I didn't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

chillzo: We have a problem.

nene: Let me guess, you caused it?

y/n : Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet.

otis: And it's another Tuesday, your point?

pico: Would shooting you solve this problem ? No ? Then shut up.

darnell: If you're mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem.

*The squad right before chillzo's wedding*

pico: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.

nene: Wait...Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!

darnell: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well

y/n : I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND

otis, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

(* chillzo was about to get marryed to pico *)